Wa' HIq DaH!*

So having stumbled out of the drunken haze I spent the weekend in. (Go Canada!) I recalled a very handy website. How to order a beer in 50 different languages. Now, as this is an English language blog you'd be forgiven for thinking, 'what's the point?' The English already have an excellent way of ordering beers in foreign locales, by simply shouting louder in English or scrawling your order onto a poor bavarian barmaids chest.


But I can forsee that there might be times when yelling for beer at the top of your lungs is not the done thing. (Especially if you find yourself needing to order in Arabic.) So before getting on the plane and having a few for the road, I suggest giving the list a browse. Or better yet, write it down inside the front cover of one of these fine beer tasting notebooks from Scout Books. Probably has space for that barmaids number after you woo her with a "Ein Bier, bitte!" as well.

*That's not the noise you make clearing your throat before attempting to order. That's, klingon, 'One Beer, Now!'. It seems there is no Klingon word for please.

Daisy Mae's Alien Buffet gets a reprieve.

IUGO's Twitter feed has let us know that Daisy Mae's Alien Buffet is back in the Appstore. Which is good news. Just goes to show you can't keep a good Southern gal down when's there's aliens that need killin'. At the moment IUGO report that they do not know why it is back. It will be interesting to see if it remains that way AND if Apple provide an explanation to it's sudden return. Something along these lines would be suitable:


The App Store continues to evolve, and as such, we are constantly refining our guidelines. Your application, contains content that we had originally believed to be unsuitable for distribution, as we fear tiny polygon boobs. However, we have recently received numerous complaints from our customers about this ridiculously heavy handed Puritanism, and have changed our guidelines appropriately.

I would like to think that while Apple are culling 'sexy' content from the App Store,  but leaving Playboy, Sports Illustrated and Victoria's Secret behind, they've decided not to penalise a developer who puts out some quality apps by removing one of them on very flimsy grounds.

So, if you missed out the first time, go get it now! Before the impenetrable app review process removes it again. Itunes

Video Calling Hooks found in iPhone 3.2 SDK. Phone sex addicts rejoice, rest of world. Meh.

So 9to5mac continue to tear through the new iPhone SDK that will be found in the new iPad, and they've found icons and software strings that point to video chat functionality. Obviously the whole iPhone world is now ablaze.

The iPad could certainly do with some extra features to pad out it's roster, (no pun intended.) The rumours abound of a front facing camera visible in the unit his Jobness demoed on stage, and a camera, hopefully one forwards and backwards facing, would make it stand out as more than just a large iPod Touch.

But any fanboy who is raving and ranting that this will revitalise interest into video calling, needs to stop, pull his head outta Apples ass, and accept the reality. Not a chance in hell. Sure its better than it used to be, o2 in the UK now charge the same for video calls as they do for voice calls, but at 20p per minute, and separate from the included minutes... Nothing more than a novelty.

Sure phone sex would be mildly more interesting but at 20p a minute... Actually, 90 seconds worth wouldn't add up to too much per month, Bring it on!

Apple's puritanical crusade against jiggling titty continues.

So, as it happens, my first post on this blog is about boobs. Hmmm, ah well, start as I mean to go on.


It has been impossible to browse the App Store without coming across 'Asian Boobs', or some variety there of. And don't get me wrong, I was as sick as the next person of sifting through hundreds of them in lifestyle, entertainment, photography, just to find what i wanted. But this latest move from the big nobs at Cupertino is a little puritanical. iWobble Boobs might have boobs in the title, but it didn't actually contain any images. And seeing as Apple isn't going to be removing safari from the iPhone anytime soon, explicit images are available for download from all over the internet right now on your iDevice.

So after the decision to remove iWobble Boobs from the App Store (For those of you in the dark about that app, it's a photo manipulation app, that enables you to wobble particular areas of a photo, be that boobs, a beer gut, jelly, whatever.) I wake up today to discover that Daisy Mae's Alien Buffet by IUGO Mobile Entertainment has been removed. This is a Dual Stick shooter, in the vein of Mini Gore, or iDracula. Its a bit of trashy fun, very B-Movie, with the Daisy Mae of the title cracking alien skulls in a cropped t-shirt and a pair of daisy dukes. I've enjoyed playing it. But I'm guessing Apple took umbrage to the way the lead characters Tomb Raider 1 styled polygons bounced their way around the field of battle. Attack of the Zombie Bikini Babes from Mars has also vanished. I guess the clue is in the name for that one.

Impressive pair.

Both Daisy Mae and AotZBBfM (What a mouthful) were no more racy and overtly sexual than the film, Lesbian Vampire Killers, which was not only available in the store, but was given away free in the UK via the 12 days of Christmas promotion a little over a month ago.

Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars is still selling just fine in the App Store. Killing people? Fine. Dealing Drugs? Fine. Stealing Cars? Fine. Show a bit of flesh? You're the devil incarnate. Apple's official stance on this is that Apps that are overtly sexual no longer meet the App Stores standards. So, violence is fine, but absolutely no sex! And that includes jiggling titty.

Boobs are scary stuff.

Interestingly, Sports Illustrated still have apps in the store, (Swimsuit editions no less.) as do Maxim. With the launch of the iPad imminent, Apple is supposedly courting publishers to have their content on the device. Given the popularity of men magazines, which are definately overtly sexual in their content, It will be interesting to see if Apple have the daddy bags to back this up and tell them, 'Sorry, no bikinis.'

I would like to see some consistency from Apple, Not this back and forth and this hypocritical stance they currently take. When will they just see sense and create an adult R17+ section of the store. So the children are 'safe' and the grownups can get back to wobbling whatever we choose.


Oooh yeah!