As with any employee of the month award, we first require some background, so the other employees don't feel to slighted, we need to know just what this employee has done to earn such an accolade. So here we go.
Friday night I was drinking beers with a couple of friends. (If you're interested I was drinking Budweiser '66', which is an improvement over the pisswater of normal Budweiser in my opinion.)
We we're making serious inroads into the first beer of the night, the movie has just started, and then the phone rings. It's my friends other half, she's got a flat tyre. Well we could hardly leave her by herself with a flat on a Friday night, and as one of our number was driving and sober anyway we piled into the car and off we went. I took a few beers with me because hey, its Friday, and I'm not the one driving.
We arrive, and she's got all the tools to change the tyre bar one. We need a flathead screwdriver or similar to prise the hubcap out of the centre of her alloys to get to the wheel nuts.
This is a problem... We don't have a screwdriver, there's not a similar tool kept with the jack and iron, so this presents a problem. We're gonna have to go all the way back home for a screwdriver... But then, who should save the day...
Its, an Inanimate Carbon Rod!*
Turns out the pry tip on the edge of the Brewzer beer tool was a perfect fit to get under the hubcap and prise it off, the tyre was successfully changed and off we all went home to more beers. Thank you Brewzer. You not only open my beers, you saved three guys from the embarrassment of being stymied by a hubcap. I can't think of anyone else more deserving in my employ.
*Okay so this technically is a Inanimate Stainless Steel Rod, but if I called it that then The Simpsons gag doesn't work. I'm pretty sure stainless has carbon in it on some level.